Well, the truth is as a child I was sexually molested and raped by 3 people over a few years, then as an adult by 3 different men----I’ve used my tools and sure don’t have an emotional charge to any of the events.
What I still have is a belief that cuts across most areas of my life that I’m a victim. I sure thought it was only around money at this point; however, over the last 2 months 2 men have tried to rape and/or expose themselves to me while on my morning walks. I have changed my routes and was surprised when it happened again on Halloween.
I spoke in my most empowering voice, as the man was coming towards me with his “member in his hand,” to get the “hell away from me!” After repeating this and KNOWING my team was with me the man backed off.
The rest of the walk I went from KNOWING I am safe no matter what, protected, and pissed that after all these years I still have this belief.
Here’s the ahhha, the entire time I realized I was using my tools to return the energy and destroy yet another layer of my pattern, go immediately into gratitude that my team was with me, then ask for help to discern more about what was going on, and asking for what I should do since I love my walks and communing with my team.
What I KNOW is I am not a victim even if the pattern arises from time-to-time---it just does to see if I will react the same as when I was a victim. I sure as hell didn’t react the same and in fact I went into solution mode on all levels.
So, when life seems to “sock-it-to-ya” --- stop and ask if you are still the same person as you were before. How do you react? Do you lose faith (yes, it’s natural for a period of time), did you use your tools, did you move into gratitude, and did you ask for more clarity? That’s the key---not to say to your team: “What the _uck, WHY?” Instead to say: "Hell, no...” and then walk your spiritual talk.
I am grateful for the Halloween Trick today, and, will I change my route ABSOLUTELY. Do I see myself as a failure that this pattern is still around---NO and that’s my TREAT!
What choice will you make today if your old buttons and stories arise?