It really is about them---they are and were so unhappy that they took it out on us and WE took on the guilt, blame, shame etc.. We are never too old to use our tools and return all those feelings to the person in neutral.
It isn’t our fault that THEY couldn’t love us the way we needed to be loved. It is our fault if we keep trying to figure out the why and holding onto the resentment.
Will you dare to let it go and just see it as an experience you survived and can now let go?