Life can sometimes baffle and confuse us. I personally have always done things by the book and gotten slammed or so it seemed (see my personal story). Anyway, two weeks after relocating/moving into my apartment the company I worked for went out of business. Talk about re-stimulating my feelings of being unwanted, unloved and alone.
Thank goodness for unemployment. I didn’t know a soul in Anaheim. I was stranded down here. I couldn’t relocate without a “job.” I hadn’t launched my site yet--- too afraid.
I tapped and helped others with my skills; and yet financial abundance eluded me. It sure felt good to be of service though.
Unemployment ran out and despite my best efforts jobs and clients just didn’t materialize. Darn thread of a lack belief.
My savings being non-existent --- I had always had pension jobs; and had to cash them in to pay for “the cancer” ordeal. So, no pension, a little in savings, no job and not wanting to be evicted or get into debt I decided to jump headlong into the abyss. I hate the old victim storyline. Therefore it’s best to take contrary action.
Today I had to make a decision that is testing my faith like none other--- I gave my 30 day notice to quit my lease. Place my things in storage, get a PO Box for my mail, and place my future in God’s hands. I will tap on what comes up for me and perhaps it will help you too.
Of course my internet connection went down for 9 hours bringing up all my fears and second guesses.
Remember you can borrow benefits when you type on my issues.
KC: Even though I don’t know if I’m making the right decision. I always make the wrong choice. I accept my confusing feelings and accept and love myself anyway.
KC: Even though I may be making the worse mistake of my life. I accept how confused I am. I love and accept myself anyway.
KC: Even though I may end up hopeless. I love and accept myself anyway.
EB: I can’t figure out what to do
SE: I always screw up
UE: I always make the wrong choice
UN: I’m screwing up my life again
CH: Why must I always go it alone
CB: I’ll be living in my car
UA: What am I going to do
TH: What will happen to me
EB: I’m scared
SE: I can’t do this
UE: What if I can’t find a job
UN: What if I can’t find a room to rent
CH: Sleeping in the cold in my car
CB: I’m scared out of my mind
UA: Why me
TH: Why not me
EB: I’m a survivor
SE: I’ve made it this far
UE: I have 30 days to work things out
UN: I have tools to help me
CH: I have to trust
CB: I will fake it until I make it
UA: I will shift this fear
TH: I will love myself through this
Breathe in through the nose and out through the mouth- ahhhh
CB: Loving myself—I am the harmony and balance of my life; and I am in a process of shifting into the new me.